I See

"I like old ladies when they speed walk. It means they're fit."

Seriously

"You're more of a gay boy than an emo hippie chick."

Bleh

"Quit petting my spine."

Right?

"What do you mean 'Who is Josh Groban?'"

Clever

"You know what I discovered? No matter which way you fall off our house you land on something painful."

Come On

"Can I use that fork? As in 'hurry up'."

True Enough

"Did you know pigs are among the smartest animals?"
 "Until you slice them up!"

I'm Not...

"Well, if you're gonna knit me a taco..."

Understandable

"I was distracted by the doughnut flavored books."