Denied

"Block him? What if you start an online romance and he becomes your first husband?"

We Are

"You bunch of soap sniffers!"

Um, Yeah

"But water's good for you. And so is peeing."

Bummer

"Sadly, they didn't reanimate any dead Pilgrims for us."

Ha!

"Hey it's my car!!!"
"Really?"
"Not my real car, the one I want. Hey! No smoking in my car!!!" 

Tasty

"What? I was laughing at my cranberry sauce."

It's For You

*singing* "Call me up if you a gangsta."
*two minutes later*
"Where's your phone? I'm calling you up cause I'm a gangsta!"

Dowry

"A goat and two chickens?! I thought you'd be worth at least a shaved monkey!"

Scratch It

"I made $5 off a back up beard once."

Uh...

"Frodo? Why is Frodo one sock?"

Hmmm

"A tea pot dork? That doesn't even make sense."

Gross

"Ah, you schnozed my cheek."

Me Too

"I'm mad at you about the Nemesis song."

Not So Much

"I'm way cooler than vegan recipes."

Ca-caw!!!!!

"PLEASE! I'm doing homework and you're just lounging around in bird pants."

"Are you licensed to kill?"
"No, I'm only licensed to maim."

Hmmm

"Tortoise nap. Its like a cat nap, but more scared."

Uh, Sure

"Okay, you wanna dork it up? Look at your white thing!"

Fancy

"It's like The Nutcracker, only Dogcracker."

Where?

"Ninja bike, ninja bike, ninja bike,"

Surprising

"Jack doesn't like ninja feet. He finds them boring."

Uh uh

"Can't I just dance with my daughter without my dog getting excited."

Okay

"You left a gap, now it's staring at me."

Good Rule

"When I was like nine my mom had to make a rule that me and my brother couldn't use unforgivable curses on each other."